JESUS IS THERE

I Am There Do you need Me? I am there. You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by. You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice. You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands. I am at work, though you do not understand My ways. I am at work, though you do not recognize My works. I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries. Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am, and then but as a feeling and a faith. Yet I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer. When you need Me, I am there. Even if you deny Me, I am there. Even when you feel most alone, I am there. Even in your fears, I am there. Even in your pain, I am there. I am there when you pray and when you do not pray. I am in you, and you are in Me. Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for only in your mind are the mists of “yours” and “mine.” Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me. Empty your heart of empty fears. When you get yourself out of the way, I am there. You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all. And I am in all. Though you may not see the good, good is there, for I am there. I am there because I have to be, because I am. Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only because of Me does the world go forward. I am the law on which the movement of the stars and the growth of living cells are founded. I am the love that is the law’s fulfilling. I am assurance. I am peace. I am oneness. I am the law that you can live by. I am the love that you can cling to. I am your assurance. I am your peace. I am one with you. I am. Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you. Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never wavers, because I know you, because I love you. Beloved, I am there.

Bad HAT day

*** LES ***

And a lifetimes not too long to live as.......

~Sarah & Kirstin~ ~Jacelyn & Elizabeth~ ***************************** FRIENDS **** I am so thankful for Godly Christian sisters (aka FRIENDS). I feel so blessed that my children have these friendships too, especially my oldest two children, Elizabeth 11 & Sarah 10. They have seen how important and precious and wonderful my friends have been to me. They realize that friends.....(WONDERFUL FRIENDS) are genuine gifts directly from God. Friends inspire us, encourage us, listen to us, pray for us, comfort us, stand by us, life us, help us and love us. I feel so blessed to have so many very dear friends who all lead me to growing stronger in the Lord and when I am wrong will tell me so and make me accountable to stand on God's word. My heart is bright and glowing that Elizabeth & Sarah have friends like this too. I pray for my children and their friends and the precious gift that friends are and the way God knew they would be!

XPRESS yourself for Jesus

Our largest group yet! This weekend was our church's Children's Ministry Weekend. This is the 3rd year I have had a child in it (Elizabeth) and this is the third year I went. This year was my Elizabeth's third year in XPRESS drama team. It was my Sarah's first year. What a wonderful weekend! What fun! What a blessing! What wonderful ministries our children are all capable of! I just enjoy to see the growth of all "our" children each year. I enjoy the part of encouraging them and cheering them on for our Lord. I enjoy being with all the other moms and families from our church in a kind of "field trip" setting. I enjoy watching Pastor Josh and Tammy work with our children. I enjoy watching and playing with Josiah! I wish our church would showcase our children's talents. They have so much to offer. They work so very hard to show their love for Jesus. Sadly this is Jessica Zambrano, Jacelyn O'Connor and my Elizabeth's last year. They Will be going into 7th grade and they are sad because in our church there really won't be any drama team or anything in ministry for them next year. At this time we really don't have anything in place. I am praying that the Lord works this through and doesn't let these children walk into emptiness but instead that the Lord places something in place so the ministry opportunities they have learned for years in our children's ministry can grow and flourish next year in youth ministry. That is my prayer. They are sad because they don't see a plan. I am sad cause I don't see that either. Anyway, this weekend was WONDERFUL. Had time with my wonderful christian church family sisters. I got to play with Josiah. I watched our church children and my two of my children show their love, their hearts for the Lord and we got to enjoy a really good buffet dinner on our way home (that is the part we wait for each year) with lots of laughing and so much fun. Thank you Jesus for this weekend! Thank you for a beautiful church family! Thank you for wonderful and loving children's pastors! Thank you for giving children this AWESOME opportunity to minister in your precious name! I love you Jesus!!!!

My Jesus, My Savior, My Church Family

I have this picture. I guess I should say we have this picture. I picked it out though because it spoke directly to my spirit 6 years ago when I bought it. Before we moved a year ago it was in our other home on a wall in our living room where everyone could see the picture when they walked into our home. I love pictures that remind me how Jesus walked the earth and He is still with us everywhere in all we do. In my very human moments, I very much need constant reminders that I am not a human being having a spiritual experience.....but I am a SPIRITUAL BEING having a human experience on this earth. Anyway, I must have looked at this picture a million times before a friend sat with me in my living room and as we talked over a cup of coffee she commented on how she loved the CROSS in the shadow of the young, boy Jesus. I was amazed...truly amazed...I must have looked at that picture a million times in my home, in my living room and possibly a thousand more while I was saving up to buy it....before I could have it in my home to share. My amazement was, in ALL THE TIMES I sat and looked at that picture and thought of the life of Jesus, I ALWAYS thought of the adult MAN...being Jesus.... the carpenter. THE ADULT MAN. I don't know who I thought the little boy was.... I guess I just always thought in my heart he was my baby son David (that I lost) working next to Jesus, learning from Jesus, in Heaven. I don't know for sure that that is what I thought...but, in some way I think that IS what I thought because I never ever asked myself, IF THE ADULT MAN is Jesus ...who is the little boy in the picture and why does the little boy reflect the cross in His shadow. I just never had those questions and I never even noticed the cross. I thought the adult man was Jesus. I never realized that the man was Jospeh and the little boy was Jesus as a boy and the cross reflection (or shawdow) was His bring to take us from sin to salvation. I was amazed and even though I saw...I really NEVER SAW at all. Today in thinking on this...I realize how much we never really see. How even things right before our eyes we can miss if our spirit is not in the right place and in line with Gods vision. I was thankful for this clarity. I was thankful for being able "to see" the truth and then to use that information to grow and to learn and to remember to ask GOD TO REVEAL things to me. OPEN MY EYES LORD....LET ME SEE CLEARY. Let me not view things in MY VIEW but, in YOUR VIEW, YOUR HEART, YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR PLAN. Also today...God revealed to me that He really can calm the sea...and He really does hear our prayers and He really does want to be at the heart of all we do. This morning, I had somewhere to go that I was scared to go. There was so much hurt there, saddness, pain, and so much of the spirit of satan and bondage and it had such a strong ugly hold on all involved. I wanted to be any place but go there this morning...but I knew that was wrong because God belonged there and this ugly spirit needed to leave. The tone of where I was, turned out so peaceful, and not filled with stress and just so opposite of what my heart was breaking over. I know why......this place where I was scared to be had another group of our church family praying over us.....praying over all the people who were there. Praying over all the hurt, and confusion and pain and brokeness that satan had somehow found a foothold to. Due to a loving and caring church family....Jesus had his hand on each of us at this place today and the tone of peace and kind words and gentleness and care prevailed. By the end of this event that I truly was "scared" to go into.....I felt satan smothered and I felt the bondage lifting. No, everything was not settled. That is ok though. Life itself can be unsettling. Anyway, that wasn't my hearts cry or our hearts cry. The heart's cry (my hearts cry)was for the bondage of the enemy to be gone....for satan to be far far far far FAR from us, from that place, from our spirits, from our temperments and for JESUS,OUR PRECIOUS JESUS, our Father, our gentle savior to lovingly lead us back to where we needed to be....where we should be and where Jesus was softly and lovingly waiting for us to be again. I am wise enough and blessed enough and so thankful enough to know the differnce was a church family of caring sisters and brothers who loved us all enough to pray us through this time.....and pray so frevently that they stromed the Heavens to break the months of satans foothold that grew tighter and tighter. NO, not everything is prefect... but life never is....and that was not the prayer....The prayer was that our savior, our father, our precious Jesus was in charge again and back where He should be. I am on my knees with thankfulness, for my savior and my wonderful, loving church family who showed me the love of Jesus today in caring so much and praying so hard and they are more than a blessing to my heart and my spirit and my life. I love them. I love them SO MUCH and I thank God that I have everyone of them in my life and God please BLESS THEM, bless them ...for carrying us through when we needed them to pray when we couldn't and taken us to the right path when we were feeling broken and lost. Lord I love them and they have touched my heart deeply, more than words can ever say. They are a gift from you Lord.....and your presence and your peaceful and loving hand on our hearts is a gift from you too Lord...and I love you and I love them and please Lord please BLESS our church family. Oh you are so awesome and your children reflected your heart today in so many different ways. THANK YOU JESUS! I LOVE YOU!!!! THANK YOU MY CHURCH FAMILY, I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!! Bless your hearts!

Wonderful Call, Wonderful Friend

I had such a wonderful long and encouraging phone call today from a very special friend who I haven't really had the chance to talk to for some time. It was so great to be able to talk for a few hours and be so encouraged and inspired and talk about God's Word and His love for all of us. I must admit....it was a day when I very much needed this "lift" and Jesus is SO GOOD, SO CARING, SO LOVING that he sent me a phone call from a friend that I truly love and think the world of...and He even took care of my children for me so I could have a wonderful uplifting conversation. GOD IS SO GOOD......... GOD CARES ABOUT EACH OF US..... and GOD REALLY LOVES US WITH A LOVE THAT IS SO BEYOND OUR UNDERSTANDING. Isn't that the GREATEST!?!?!?! Aren't we so blessed by our awesome Father?.......... (and by some wonderful, loving friends too!)

Sad, Sad Monday

Today I woke up at 1:10 am....I heard down the hall a sound of a "seal". I realized it was my little guy Joshua. He was having trouble breathing and the sound was so horrible. I took him out of his bed and from 1:30 till 5:45 I just held and rocked and comforted him. He finally fell asleep in my arms....and my heart was so sad for the pain he was going through. I fell back to sleep and woke up again at almost 8 am...and again I had this very heavy heart and sad, sad feeling in my spirit. It's now 2:12 in the afternoon and this feeling won't leave me. There is just so much going on....it all has me very sad and the places I am involved in now are just sad places to be and make Jesus seem so far when I so desperately need Him so near. All the the people hurting, all the suffering, all the sadness, the constant feeling of emptiness, loss and so much CONFUSION. IT IS JUST SO SAD! Les and I feel exhausted emotionally and spiritually and although our relationship is great and our family is great....it is the constant drain of sadness for very important "family" ...and just all the secrets and hurt...hurt..hurt....and we both just feel so drained. I know Jesus is near.....I KNOW THAT in my head....but right now my heart and my spirit feel depleted. I feel like all the things I knew and felt certain of have been an ugly mask of confusion. Jesus please be so near to everyone hurting today. Please settle all things that make our hearts ache and Jesus please bring us to a peace that is far beyond our understanding. I love you so much Jesus. I feel so far from you and I am so tired now and so weary.....please Jesus help me have the strenght to get myself back right where YOU ARE...caring about what YOU care about, doing things that YOU want me to do, and seeing truth in all things the way YOU have revealed it to me. I love you Jesus....and today is a sad, sad, monday. I surrender my day to you my Lord.